This year… 01/12/2010

I guess this could be a belated new years post. But…it’s not resolutions. I don’t actually believe in resolutions.

This year…
~I want to fall in love…with someone other than my stupid ex-boyfriend
~I want to get my first teaching job
~I want to move further South
~I want to meet my future husband (if we haven’t met already…weird to think about)
~I want to be open to life and loving it.
~I want to draw closer and closer to the Lord who gave me life and makes it worth living
~I want to be a good daughter and sister.
~I want to be happy with who I am, RIGHT NOW. Not who I will be in 5 years.
~I want to feel what it feels like to be deliriously happy
~I want to read more and watch less TV
~I want to write more.

Sigh…Lord I just give this year to you. Take my wishes and will and make them Yours.

I’m a Celebrity (Pt. 1)

In port in Miami

Ok…so I’m a Celebrity cruiser.  But that’s besides the point.  The way I was madam’ed and miss’ed all week, I could totally be a celebrity or royalty.  It was brilliant.  And the 60 and 70 degree weather was sooo much more warmer than it was at home this week.  So, yeah.  I thought I would share some of my week with you (or at least highlights).  I know you’ve probably already looked at my pictures on Facebook, but this may actually provide some context.

Sunday night, Mom and I arrived in Miami!  We stayed at the gorgeous Hyatt Regency.  It was right on Biscayne Bay and absolutely wonderful.  The beds were fluffy.  The food was amazing.

Monday, we boarded the ship!!

The Celebrity Century

This was my floating home for 5 nights…and it was gorgeous.  There was a huge foyer, a coffee bar (that I did spend a few afternoons at 🙂 ), a grand dining room, a big theatre, lots of sweet international people working, great entertainment…it was just wonderful.  If you can take a cruise, do.  You won’t regret it.  Unless you get extremely sea sick.

At dinner we sat with an older couple from Venice, FL, a mom and daughter from New Jersey, and a sweet couple from Rio de Janeiro.  (The couple from Rio were seriously some of the most gorgeous people I’ve ever seen up close.)

Tuesday, we arrived in Key West!  It was warm when the sun was shining, and that was very nice.  I had to carry a sweatshirt around because if we were in the shade, it was a little too cool.  OK, so the highlight of my day in Key West was definitely meeting Kyan Douglas.  If you don’t know who Ky is, SHAME ON YOU!  Haha…to enlighten you, he was on the TV show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on Bravo and then hosted 10 Years Younger on TLC.  He was the most gorgeous of the cast of Queer Eye, and was like the hygiene guy–including hair care and shaving.  I always liked him because he seemed very sweet.

Well, here I was–walking down the street in Key West, and I see Kyan with some guy (I didn’t have the nerve to ask him if he was his boyfriend).  I saw them turn into a store, and then we turned into the Lazy Gecko next door.  I told my mom that I had to go see if it was really him and if he was still next door, or I would never forgive myself.  So, off I took myself, and I peeked in the door and there he was.  I casually walked over, tapped him on the arm, and kept my cool as I asked, “Are you Kyan Douglas?”  He smiled and said he was, and I asked if I could take a picture with him.  He agreed and we made small talk while the other boy finished his purchase.  The other guy took the picture, and Kyan apologized for looking “so rough.”  As you look at this picture, I have to ask you…WOULD A MAN THIS GORGEOUS EVER BE ABLE TO LOOK ROUGH?  And he was just as kind and sweet as I had always imagined him.  Since we were now BFFs, I came home and friended him on Facebook.  Why, yes, he did confirm my friend request.  I wrote on his wall that I hoped the cooler weather hadn’t spoiled his fun, and HE WROTE BACK and called me “love.”  I may be just a little starstruck.

Me and KYAN DOUGLAS

So, that’s enough for this edition of “I’m a Celebrity.”  I will tell you more about my trip next time 🙂

Love! (the utterly starstruck) Ashley

for your reading enjoyment 01/02/2010

For your reading enjoyment while I’m away…here are some things I’ve written lately.

Love! Ashley

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The beautiful garden overflowed with beauty created by the Lord’s own hand.  Fragrant flowers bloomed in perfect clusters and choice fruit grew abundantly on the branches of lush trees  Everything was in harmony.  The first two dwelled, walking the paths with the Lord, blameless.

Love.

The planks of the ark creaked and groaned as the rain pounded the roof.  The animals were loud and it was stuffy.  But they were alive.  Alive, while the rest of creation drowned under the burden of torrential downpours and floods coming from the wellsprings of Earth.  Everything they had ever known was gone.  But they, the chosen, were alive.

Love.

Their muscles burned from the labors they endured.  Their skin was drenched in sweat and coated in gritty dust.  He stumbled over his words and felt inadequate.  But the bush burned and he was called.  The Lord would come through.  The Lord would deliver his people.

Love.

A baby.  Divine made flesh, wrapped in spare cloths and laid in a feeding trough.  No one made room for our Lord, our King.  But He came anyway.  Wonderful Counselor.  Almighty God.  Everlasting Father.  Prince of Peace.  He deserved so much more than a birth in a stable.  He made no triumphant entrance, unlike any other king.  But He came anyway.

Love.

He submitted to a criminal’s punishment, died a humiliating death on the cross.  He was mocked, beaten, and hung.  Nails driven through his hands and feet, thorns thrust into his brow, a sword shoved through his side.  His beautiful blood covered him, the splintering cross, and the ground.  He was pierced for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities.  By His wounds we are healed.

Love.

He will come again, for us.

Love.

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Have you ever prayed and prayed for what you want, only to have the Lord answer your prayers differently than expected?   I am a parking prayer–I admit it.  I guess I got into the habit when I was an undergrad–I lived in a dorm that had about five parking spots outside of it.  There was also a lot across campus that I could park in, but it was a 10 minute walk away.  I always prayed to get a spot right outside the dorm-to avoid the walk.  Now, I’m in a grad program at night where the parking is horrendous.  It was the first day of a class that began at 4:15.  It was 4:13 and I had been circling campus for almost 45 minutes looking for a spot.  I had been praying for the past 15 minuts that I would find a parking spot–any spot.  I was frustrated, not wanting to be late for the first class and make a poor impression.  At 4:14, I was making another loop around campus, and a car put on its turn signal and pulled out of a parking space right in front of the building I needed to go to–HALLELUJAH!  Do I believe the Lord was behind this? Of course!  Like many situations in my life, I ask for just a parking space–any parking space–and while the Lord may make me wait, He doesn’t give me just ANY parking space, He gives me the best.  His best.  So often we ask for something and then get mad when the Lord doesn’t immediately give as a resounding (and audible) YES and exactly what we asked for.  He is waiting with love and patience–giving us a chance to mature and grow.  He wants to give us His best in our lives–if we are only willing to wait for His perfect timing.

“Wait for the Lord.  Be strong, take heart, and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14

my next week

The Celebrity Century

Key West, Florida

The Caribbean Sea

Grand Cayman

…I have a feeling that it’s going to be a lovely week.  And although the high appears to be only 62 degrees for Key West on Tuesday, right now in Philadelphia it is 21 degrees and feels like SIX DEGREES.  So…it is going to be a heck of a lot warmer where I’m headed.  Yay 😀

Love! Ashley

Happy New Year! 01/01/2010

Happy New Year…if you read this 🙂

Watching Dick Clark slur through his teleprompts on national television makes me feel sad and old.  When I was your age, Dick Clark was still old but vibrant and could still speak clearly and be outside when they rang in the new year.

Also…Ryan Seacrest.  No.  Just no.  I still don’t like you.

I suppose that I should head to bed now…wow, it’s 2010!

Love! Ashley

Twenty-Five 12/31/2009

Well, as of January 9th, I will no longer be in the 18-24 bracket. I will be moving on to being in my mid-twenties, and I am going to officially start moving toward 30. Is it necessary to say that I am SO not looking forward to being 25? However, my mom and I are going on a CRUISE to celebrate, so that’s definitely lessening the blow ;-). I am hoping that it will fully distract me so that I won’t have a minor meltdown. I keep telling myself: 25 is not old. If 40 is the new 20, then you are like…5. So don’t freak out.
I guess the real problem for me is that I had always visualized myself as married by now. But I’m not. And most of the time, I am very okay with that. Until I go to Ohio to visit the family and like everyone else is in a relationship, married, or even has kids. It makes me jealous, which is so wrong, because I should just be happy for them. But I’m not–I want my own husband, I want my own kids. And I don’t want to be an old mom. (Sigh). I need to not be writing a blog and focusing on that. But if I can’t put the truth out there and face it, I’ll never deal with it. IT IS OKAY TO BE TWENTY-FIVE AND SINGLE. The only expectations of me that should matter are the Lord’s.

…but if He wants to send the man of my dreams my way this year….I wouldn’t complain.

Love! Ashley

I do like the idea of blogging… 12/30/2009

however, I have always failed to actually blog.  I am coming up on a big period of change in my life and would love to journal about it for myself, if nothing else.  My sister blogs, and I love to read her blogs to keep up on her musings, her life, recipes, and –of course– my niece!  She did a beautiful blog today, talking about her last decade.  I was sitting there, trying to figure out how she even remembered what she did in the years, but I guess I will try my best to sum up the last decade of my life for you…maybe it would be a good way to get to know me, and see why my blog is called “Life Without Marbles” 🙂

2000- I was a wee little freshie in high school.  The band Hanson was influential in my life, and I loved the MTV movie “2-Gether.”  Haha.  If you saw this, please comment.  I would like to know there is someone out there other than my sister, her best friends, and me that watched it.  Anyway, I was thinking that I was going to grow up to go to college at Virginia Tech, and be a pharmacologist with an entrance salary of 80,000/ year when I exited school.

2001- Of course, the most poignant thing that I can remember about 2001 is September 11.  I was a junior in high school that day.  I was walking down the hallway with my friend Melissa, and her sister ran up to us and exclaimed that a helicopter had landed on the roof of the White House.  We laughed at her and kept walking on to our chorus class…I was part of a singing ensemble called Madrigals.  It was soo much fun, and my entrance into the addicting world of singing groups.

2002- Beginning of my senior year of high school.  I was 17.  I wasn’t super popular, but I was very well-liked by most groups at school 🙂 .  I loved life…  I do remember visiting my sister at college and a strange boy jumping into the back seat of the car with my friend Cheryl.  Then the next day, we went to Paramount’s Kings Dominion with my sister and her friend Alena (who she had met online).  We had the most fun.  ever.

2003: Graduated high school and began college at Mary Washington College (which changed to the University of Mary Washington before I left).  Lived through a sweltering August and September in Virginia in a dorm room that lacked air conditioning.  Pure torture.  LOL.  But, we were one of the lucky rooms to have two windows.  I met friends that will probably remain some of the truest friends I have ever known.  I am blessed to still be close to 2 of the friends I met that freshman year.  I also auditioned for, and became part of, a singing group known as “Una Voce.”  Some of the most fun I’ve ever had with the most talented people I have ever known!

2004:  Donnie, my dad’s best friend, died from liver cancer.  My sister got married on July 31st.  I BECAME AN IN-LAW.

2005: In January, one of my best friends from high school died from leukemia.  She had beaten it once, but the second time, it got the better of her.  I still regret not being around in that period of her life.  I wasn’t there.

2006: Battled deep depression and dropped out of the teacher education program at MWC because I didn’t have the strength to kill myself doing a teacher program on top of the American History degree I was going for (which included a 30-page thesis).  Moved to Pennsylvania.  Was less than thrilled with the move right before my senior year of college.

2007: GRADUATED COLLEGE!  Hurrah!  Moved back to Pennsylvania and worked in child care and then as a temp.

2008: Started doing worship and arts ministry at my church.  Found my home and my family in Pennsylvania.  Joined a small group which consists of many decades of women, 20’s-60’s.  Found support and love from them as I have dealt with many issues in my life since!  October 27, the love of my life–my niece–was born!

2009: Oh wow.  Finished actual classes for my teaching certification (will do student teaching beginning January 21st, 2010).  4.0 grade average.  Love it.  June 6th, my grandfather passed away.  The first family member I have lost…it was really really hard.  But I think he was ready to go.  Sang in a Broadway Revue at church (so much fun, and so much work).  Had a relationship during the summer that was very dysfunctional and didn’t work out, but I learned so much about myself and what I want for the future that I guess it was all worth it.  Worked with autistic children Feb-December.  One of the most challenging and rewarding things I have ever done.  I think those children will always hold a piece of my heart.  My baby–my dog, Pepper, who we had for 15 years–had to be put to sleep.  It was my first Christmas without my sister and my dog in a very long time.  It was a rough year–very crazy, very busy, but good.

It was a good  decade.  I’m looking forward to my next one.

Love! Ashley